omg i have that too!

dee em bee. crash into me. blah.

2009-05-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

I Google-imaged "Dave Matthews Fans". I really don't need to explain why, I'm sure you can figure that out for yourselves.

This is what I found:

These biddies drink margaritas out of Solo cups. Woohoo!
Oh PS - does she know her bra is hanging out?

These girls made SURE they got their fair share of tanning bed UV rays in weeks before the show.

Looking incredibly sharp in this Ralph Lauren Polo, this boy hopes to impress Dave after the show.

The girl in the pink to the right of him just found out they probably won't get to meet DM.
So sad.

What the fuck?! I seriously got nothin' for this one.

In conclusion:
My boyfriend wore a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt today.
He's lucky it's not his.

PERFECTION AT ITS FINEST

2009-05-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.dlisted.com/

too much gel + not so naturally curly hair + too much hairspray = CrUnChY hAiR! OMG!

2009-05-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

A girl I know from high school who is now in prison had a thing for crunchy curls.

The small group of girls that blew my high school's hockey team had a thing for crunchy curls.

Selena went through a short phase of crunchy curled pony tails.

Crunchy curls are for disgusting snack foods that turn your fingers orange.
Not your hair.

tribals.

2009-04-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw a man with a very shiny half sleeve. Obviously freshly done ink. His entire upper arm was done in thick black tribals. I don't really have much to say other than that's gross. But hopefully I didn't even need to tell you that.

Devendra Banhart sporting somewhat acceptable tribals:

Banhart was raised in Venezuela among shanties.
He is allowed to have tribal tattoos.

Here is an example of tribals that suck:

JOHNNY CUPCAKES OMG

2009-04-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

JOHNNY CUPCAKES WOOOO

This clothing company is for:

"fashionable people, college kids, artsy kids, thugs, indie rockers, skaters, young adults, sneaker heads and more."

But the word Johnny, the creator, forgot in this description of the company's market is "juvenille".

For middle schoolers – it's cool. Fifth graders who are just starting to discover they want to be "indie-rockers" someday will start out here due to accesibility and the fact that at that age brand names still = popularity. Also because shirts are $36, it means the kids had to save up allowance for a long time to get that shirt. Which makes them cool. Obviously. Its equivalent to the Hollister or Abercrombie for the future punkers of America.

For high schoolers – it's dumb. You know those kids who are still wearing Hollister by the time they are seniors LAME. Everyone knows the reason Hollister and A&F's sizes run so small is because their target market is middle schoolers. And by the time you're a senior in high school your wardrobe should be far far past that. Johnny Cupcakes, once again, is the punk equivalent to A&F and Hollister.

And for college students – HA.
Any college kid wearing a t-shirt (that is relatively dumb anyways) for $36 appears to be a money wasting, pompous asshole. Just don't do it.

<-- This is an interesting take on political society.

I have never considered cupcakes as an alternative to war!!

Way to be creative, Johnny!!

ew.

"The Third Eye" (thank you Dave Martineau)

2009-03-30T10:35:00.001-07:00

Dear Liberal Arts University Students,

I have a challenge for you.
On the next sunny day, find an area of high traffic on your college campus, and sit there for just one hour.
Count the number of these "third eye" hats you see.
Then out of that number count how many of the people wearing these hats are also wearing something from The North Face.
Then e-mail me the totals. For real.

Love, Morgan.

sori-tay tay. t-tay-t-tay-tay. (sorities and taylor zapora)

2009-03-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

This is my dear friend Taylor, A.K.A. Tay Tay. She is a student at the University of Rhode Island and a member of the "sororitay-tay", SIGMA DELTA TAU.

Taylor and I met back in 2002 (?...maybe '01?)at summer camp in northern New Hampshire. We fell in love. (I wore a lot of Abercrombie back then...get over it.)

By 2006 we were on staff at this same summer camp together, and in 2007 we were living in close quarters together for 9 weeks straight.
Regardless of my skinny jeans and keds and her ΣΔT tee-shirts, our love continued to grow.

In the summer of '08, our precious time together was taken away from us. Tay Tay left for Nantucket (inevitably we knew she would always end up in such a place...refer back to my Feb. 25th entry) and I was still in hickville teaching small children how to make gimp keychains and jump off of a high-dive.

Here is Tay in Nantucket.
Here am I covered in paint.

Anyways, I am sure we all have those girls who walk around campus sporting a different article of clothing with their Greek letters on it every single day. Whether it be a tote bag, sweatpants, baby-doll tees, or flip flops, the girls seems to have an entire wardrobe of Greek life apparel and just LOVE to show it off. Tay-tay is one of those girls.

Here are some more photos of Taylor living sorority life at URI:

Here is Tay pretending to be me (indiehipster.com, as they call me at camp), and me pretending to be Tay (sororiTay Tay, T-tay tay tay tay, as we call her):

The moral of the story of Morgan and Taylor is this:

Even if you wear skinny jeans and oversized sweaters and listen to bands no one has ever heard of, it is okay to be in love with a sorority girl who loves everyone to know she's in a sorority and likes Dave Matthews...but only one.

PS - This is Taylor's current Facebook status: "ΣΔT & FIJI GREEK WEEK 09!!!!" Yet, I still love her.

...a mile down the river

2009-03-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

There is a small fried food place called "The Hawk's Den" that is open till some ungodly hour of the night solely for the purpose of feeding drunkies. Inside there is a back room completely covered in white board walls – obviously for drunken entertainment.

My friends and I decided to give these continual fashion disaster frat-goers something even more entertaining than just a basic white board. Here it is:

have fun feasting after funneling 2nite.
frat lyf '09.

A Mile Down the River

2009-03-07T11:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the pleasure of walking around another campus of my school about a mile down the river from the arts and humanities campus.
This other campus includes the following: two freshman dorms, one major party dorm, one 'jock' dorm, and the campus recreation center.

Anyways, on my expedition I noticed a clan of girls in booty shorts. I think i saw a total of 8 butt cheeks all at once. I also saw three boys walking behind them – also in shorts. It was a warm night, so I guess there's nothing exactly wrong with shorts, however...short shorts/sport shorts and Timberlands together?

(After taking this picture I was referred to as some very inappropriate names which I will not repeat for the sake of simple manners.)

(This is Bobby. He doesn't really < 3 short shorts in Feb.)

v. bradz 4 lyf

2009-02-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

v.bradz

vera bradley reminds me of my grandmother. plain and simple.
THE Dawn Carter.

i get it that our good friend vera is trying to bring herself back with "hip" prints for young biddies across America, but seriously? This is the ultimate grandma company (No offense, Mimz Carter...I know you're probably reading this. You're an exceptionally cool grandmother.)

Check out this quote I found online. It's absolutely hysterical...in a completely vomit inducing kind of way :

"Owning a Vera Bradley automatically puts you in a kinship with anyone else who also owns one. I find myself talking to other Vera Bradley carriers all the time. We talk about the latest patterns and designs, where we got it, and who else we know has what. The next thing we know, we have a new acquaintance, another member of what my friend calls 'The Cult of Vera Bradley.'"

The writer of the article, Bridget Madden, says she owns the following:

"A Java Blue brush and pencil case, which can also double as a clutch if I want it to"
"A New Hope small cosmetic bag, but I use it as a wallet"
"A tote in Bermuda Blue"

Then there's this other chick Madden writes about:

"she had the Citrus, the Nantucket Red, the Nantucket Navy and the Apple Green backpack, wallet, pencil case, cosmetic case and eyeglass case. Only, she could not find her red eyeglass case to go with the red backpack, etc. she was wearing the day I met her, so she said, "I am not taking my glasses off today."
just read the article.

Anyways, I've witnessed "The Cult of Vera Bradley" on my campus, and let me just say it's definitely not as all-inclusive as this article leads one to believe.
As an ashamed owner of a Vera Bradley change purse thingy, (okay, I looked it up for the sake of this blog. Here's it's official name: The Mod Floral Blue Clip Zip ID) I have never once been stopped by a fellow V.Bradz owner to talk about "the latest patterns and designs, where we got it, and who else we know has what."

And I thank God that's the case.

the cape cod bracelet

2009-02-25T11:33:00.000-08:00

There are groups of girls prowling my campus - each one wearing a Cape Cod Bracelet.
My recently divorced aunt who's hobbies include tennis and tanning also wears one.

Check it.

In the analysis of The Cape Cod bracelet, we must first understand where one purchases such a fine piece of jewelry.

If it's not obvious enough already, I will clarify it:

The Cape Cod Bracelet is only purchased on The Cape. (Or online if you are an east-of-Hyannis vacationing impostor.)

A trip to Martha's Vineyard will not guarantee you this bracelet, and Nantucket will only offer the cheap and juvenile rope bracelet to show for your trip.

Now let's looks at the purpose of purchasing this sterling and gold bracelet. Seeing as how soooo many New England females own them, they must serve some sort of purpose right?

The bracelets usually sell for anywhere between $100 and $300 depending on size and style. So not only do you drop about $400 for a party vacation to the Cape in mid-July with all your biddies (Mike's Hard Lemonade not factored in), but you have to come back with something to prove it. (A tan isn't good enough now-a-days due to the fact that just about anyone in the country can have a tan in just one spray on session.)

Now if this isn't clear enough for you:

The purpose of purchasing a Cape Cod Bracelet is to prove you spent money to go to the Cape; sunbathe all day; drink a lot of girly drinks; flirt with fit, tan, dock boys; and pretend you spend your entire life like this because you're a trust fund baby.

So next time you see you're friend's still-thinks-she's-20-mom wearing one, or some girl in your econ class, just think of how much fun she must have in the summer...waaaaaay more than you. BLAH.

skin in snow

2009-02-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

I've never understood the kids I see walking about campus in the middle of winter in shorts, wool socks and Birkenstocks.

First of all, the socks aren't even going to help, because since there's snow on the ground you're probably gonna get wet. So either take off the socks and do the whole barefoot thing, or buy yourself some snow-appropriate shoes.

Second of all, why are you wearing shorts??! Don't say you don't get cold. Unless you're some freaky reptile-human, you get cold. And if you're cold, shorts are not more comfortable than someone who's warm with jeans on.

Two days ago it was strangely warm considering it's the middle of February in Massachusetts. And by warm I mean around 42ºF. In the grand scheme of things, this is not warm.

Anyways so I was walking around very appropriately dressed in a cute Calvin Klein winter jacket and I saw a girl I recognized from one of my classes.

She was wearing:
-camouflage cargo pants (I'm not even going to start on that)
-a flannel tied around her waist (Flannel is fine. Tied around the waist is not.)
-and a black tank top
A TANK TOP.
In February.

Seriously, girl? And the funny part was, she looked cold! She had the option to untie the flannel – that more appropriately worn could have been fairly decent looking – and put it on to warm up again, but instead she thought it would be more attractive to show off her pale wintry dry-skin arms.

I can't even fathom.

Outdoor Clothing...Really?

2009-02-18T12:04:00.000-08:00

Alright. Let's talk about The North Face.

I hike. I camp. I ski. I'm a camp counselor.

The amount of North Face products I own is disgusting.

Am I ashamed? Absolutely.

But then I think of the kids I see around my campus.
They are completely decked out. I mean all you need to do is hit any liberal arts university to find a North Face poster child. It won't take long, I swear.

So let's go over the essential pieces of a male North Face poster child from the waist up:

1. The TKA 100 Glacier 1/4 Zip Fleece ($50)

2. The Denali Jacket ($165-185)

3. The Hot Shot Daypack ($89)

4. The GTO Audio Beanie ($45)

Okay. Numero Uno. The TKA 100 Glacier 1/4 Zip Fleece Pull Over.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with owning this. It is quite practical for lounging, walking outside in the spring or fall, or layering for a ski trip. I'm not even going to say it's not worth $50, because if you truly are one of those outdoorsy crunchy people, it is worth it. But let's add in the rest of the ensemble and then reevaluate:

Numero Dos. The Denali Jacket.
As one of the disturbing amounts of people who own this jacket, I can truthfully say I understand why people buy it. If they find it on sale, that is. The jacket is great. It keeps me warm even in the New England winter, it is perfect for fall and spring temperatures, it works excellently as a layer under a ski jacket on terribly bitter days, and is made from recycled materials. I bought mine for $65 by being thrifty and ordering a large kids size and finding even that on sale.

But $185? Really?? That is completely unnecessary. I don't give a shit if you are your university's most extreme hiker – if you are in college why are you spending $185 on that jacket? It's really not that good looking. Especially when they're all traveling in packs of 'em. Sorry boys, but when you all wear the same thing you look like a bunch of little girls trying to be twinzies. Cute.

Numero Tres. The Hot Shot Day Pack.
Hahahahaha. AAHHHHhahahhaa. I'm sorry. This is hilarious. IT SAYS "HOT SHOT" ON IT IN BIG WHITE VISIBLE-FROM-ANYWHERE LETTERS (and obviously the pack is all black to match the all black Denali jacket).
"I just want you to know that if you don't think I'm a hot shot yet, take a look at my backpack. Even North Face knows I'm hot shit."
No need to say more.

Lastly, Numero Cuatro. The GTO Audio Beanie.
Woah there boy. First of all, beanies went out of style circa 1998. And honestly they never should have been in style to begin with.

Now let's talk about the "Audio" aspect of this particular beanie. The North Face is an outdoors-men company am I right? So why are they designing hats with built in headphones? They say they are "for riders who are in tune with the mountain."

First of all, that pun is dumb.
Second of all, if a rider is "in tune" with the mountain wouldn't music distract him from the sounds of nature going on around him?
The answer is yes. It would. So this makes no sense what-so-ever.
And if you're wearing it around your campus, stop now. Please. For the love of humanity.

i don't wear skinny jeans cause my knots don't fit.

2009-02-16T19:13:00.001-08:00

The other night I was on a school provided bus heading from one side of the city to the other. There weren't any seats left, so I stood in the front of the bus while a bunch of "ya dudes" sat in the back.

After staring at me for a good 10 minutes, one of the boys asked me if we went to high school together. We began talking about our high school and our mutual acquaintances when he asked if I was a music major.

I immediately turned on my sassy attitude and snapped "Oh, how could you tell? My skinny jeans?"

He froze, completely stunned, and replied "yes."

This experience got me thinking about the stereotypes that go around college campuses concerning skinny jeans. I asked several skinny jean supporters and non skinny jean wearers if they believe there are skinny jean stereotypes at school. Make what you will of it, but here's what they said:

Sean Desmond, a political science major who does not wear skinny jeans says,

"Most people who wear skinny jeans are pretentious music snobs. People who wear skinny jeans find the pants to be cooler and more unique than everyone else's – similar to their tastes in music."

David Martineau agrees with Desmond, even though he himself is a skinny jean wearer and an ex-music major.

"There's definitely a stereotype on college campuses that goes along with wearing skinny jeans: music nerds, and cynical and ignorant intellectuals who emanate sarcasm," says Martineau.

"Hipsters. That's definitely it. They all think they're unique, yet they are just all the same. Skinny jeans, underground dance music, sunglasses they can't see out of, and vintage clothing are all things that hipsters have in common, yet the individual thoughts are that they are being unique," says Brittany Costa, a skinny jean wearing music major.

When asked why he doesn't wear skinny jeans Desmond says straight-faced,

"I enjoy a healthy sperm count as well as fully functioning pockets. Also, if I drop something on the ground I like being able to know I can pick it up without ripping my pants or exposing myself."

Go figure.

Here we go...

2009-02-11T12:45:00.000-08:00

I wear skinny jeans. I like baggy sweaters, ankle boots, and Ray Bans. I find contemporary art museums extremely entertaining. I am embarrassed to admit I shop at the hipster cliche, American Apparel, and am fascinated by the personal lives of Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen. I hang out with other thrift-store-aholics discussing ideas for a NikeiD high top or the newest album review published on Pitchfork Media.

Walking around my college campus, I can't help but notice the girls who flock together - each one wearing a different font of the word "PINK" across their butts. And of course, each leg of the brightly colored sweats is tucked into an Ugg boot. "Holy Shit. So cute I like want to die." BLAHHHH.

Anyways, these groups of girls, and the boys they hang out with for that matter, do exactly what my own friends do, but on the complete opposite end of the fashion spectrum. We all do it. We're like animals. We stick to our own kind. I mean there is always that one strange rabbit who becomes best friends with the deer, but for the most part we travel in packs with people similar to ourselves.

In the weeks to come I will observe the different aspects of college campus fashion (if you can even call some of the atrocities I have noticed "fashion").

I realize an analysis of "those girls" is extremely stereotypical, childish, and even hypocritical (I happen to own a Vera Bradley change purse. Whatever, it's convenient.) However, these easily mock-able articles of clothing are essential to every college campus. They are the staples that hold the greater population of college campuses together.

PINK butts stick with PINK butts.