the cape cod bracelet

There are groups of girls prowling my campus - each one wearing a Cape Cod Bracelet.
My recently divorced aunt who's hobbies include tennis and tanning also wears one.

Check it.

In the analysis of The Cape Cod bracelet, we must first understand where one purchases such a fine piece of jewelry.

If it's not obvious enough already, I will clarify it:

The Cape Cod Bracelet is only purchased on The Cape. (Or online if you are an east-of-Hyannis vacationing impostor.)

A trip to Martha's Vineyard will not guarantee you this bracelet, and Nantucket will only offer the cheap and juvenile rope bracelet to show for your trip.

Now let's looks at the purpose of purchasing this sterling and gold bracelet. Seeing as how soooo many New England females own them, they must serve some sort of purpose right?

The bracelets usually sell for anywhere between $100 and $300 depending on size and style. So not only do you drop about $400 for a party vacation to the Cape in mid-July with all your biddies (Mike's Hard Lemonade not factored in), but you have to come back with something to prove it. (A tan isn't good enough now-a-days due to the fact that just about anyone in the country can have a tan in just one spray on session.)

Now if this isn't clear enough for you:

The purpose of purchasing a Cape Cod Bracelet is to prove you spent money to go to the Cape; sunbathe all day; drink a lot of girly drinks; flirt with fit, tan, dock boys; and pretend you spend your entire life like this because you're a trust fund baby.

So next time you see you're friend's still-thinks-she's-20-mom wearing one, or some girl in your econ class, just think of how much fun she must have in the summer...waaaaaay more than you. BLAH.

skin in snow

I've never understood the kids I see walking about campus in the middle of winter in shorts, wool socks and Birkenstocks.

First of all, the socks aren't even going to help, because since there's snow on the ground you're probably gonna get wet. So either take off the socks and do the whole barefoot thing, or buy yourself some snow-appropriate shoes.

Second of all, why are you wearing shorts??! Don't say you don't get cold. Unless you're some freaky reptile-human, you get cold. And if you're cold, shorts are not more comfortable than someone who's warm with jeans on.

Two days ago it was strangely warm considering it's the middle of February in Massachusetts. And by warm I mean around 42ºF. In the grand scheme of things, this is not warm.

Anyways so I was walking around very appropriately dressed in a cute Calvin Klein winter jacket and I saw a girl I recognized from one of my classes.

She was wearing:
-camouflage cargo pants (I'm not even going to start on that)
-a flannel tied around her waist (Flannel is fine. Tied around the waist is not.)
-and a black tank top
A TANK TOP.
In February.

Seriously, girl? And the funny part was, she looked cold! She had the option to untie the flannel – that more appropriately worn could have been fairly decent looking – and put it on to warm up again, but instead she thought it would be more attractive to show off her pale wintry dry-skin arms.

I can't even fathom.

Here we go...

I wear skinny jeans. I like baggy sweaters, ankle boots, and Ray Bans. I find contemporary art museums extremely entertaining. I am embarrassed to admit I shop at the hipster cliche, American Apparel, and am fascinated by the personal lives of Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen. I hang out with other thrift-store-aholics discussing ideas for a NikeiD high top or the newest album review published on Pitchfork Media.

Walking around my college campus, I can't help but notice the girls who flock together - each one wearing a different font of the word "PINK" across their butts. And of course, each leg of the brightly colored sweats is tucked into an Ugg boot. "Holy Shit. So cute I like want to die." BLAHHHH.

Anyways, these groups of girls, and the boys they hang out with for that matter, do exactly what my own friends do, but on the complete opposite end of the fashion spectrum. We all do it. We're like animals. We stick to our own kind. I mean there is always that one strange rabbit who becomes best friends with the deer, but for the most part we travel in packs with people similar to ourselves.

In the weeks to come I will observe the different aspects of college campus fashion (if you can even call some of the atrocities I have noticed "fashion").

I realize an analysis of "those girls" is extremely stereotypical, childish, and even hypocritical (I happen to own a Vera Bradley change purse. Whatever, it's convenient.) However, these easily mock-able articles of clothing are essential to every college campus. They are the staples that hold the greater population of college campuses together.

PINK butts stick with PINK butts.