Wednesday, February 25, 2009

the cape cod bracelet

There are groups of girls prowling my campus - each one wearing a Cape Cod Bracelet.
My recently divorced aunt who's hobbies include tennis and tanning also wears one.

In the analysis of The Cape Cod bracelet, we must first understand where one purchases such a fine piece of jewelry.
If it's not obvious enough already, I will clarify it:

The Cape Cod Bracelet is only purchased on The Cape. (Or online if you are an east-of-Hyannis vacationing impostor.)

A trip to Martha's Vineyard will not guarantee you this bracelet, and Nantucket will only offer the cheap and juvenile rope bracelet to show for your trip.

Now let's looks at the purpose of purchasing this sterling and gold bracelet. Seeing as how soooo many New England females own them, they must serve some sort of purpose right?

The bracelets usually sell for anywhere between $100 and $300 depending on size and style. So not only do you drop about $400 for a party vacation to the Cape in mid-July with all your biddies (Mike's Hard Lemonade not factored in), but you have to come back with something to prove it. (A tan isn't good enough now-a-days due to the fact that just about anyone in the country can have a tan in just one spray on session.)

Now if this isn't clear enough for you:
The purpose of purchasing a Cape Cod Bracelet is to prove you spent money to go to the Cape; sunbathe all day; drink a lot of girly drinks; flirt with fit, tan, dock boys; and pretend you spend your entire life like this because you're a trust fund baby.

So next time you see you're friend's still-thinks-she's-20-mom wearing one, or some girl in your econ class, just think of how much fun she must have in the summer...waaaaaay more than you. BLAH.

No comments:

Post a Comment